New dad? Feeling like you're not as important to your new baby as the mother is? After all, she's the one who carried your baby for nine months, gave birth, and is likely breastfeeding. But the truth is, caring for and bonding with your baby is just as essential for dads as it is for moms.
Taking care of a newborn doesn't come as naturally as some insist. Fathers are not preprogrammed with all the information it takes to raise a child, and neither are mothers! However, moms and dads are biologically geared for different roles, and a child needs both.
Can a child be raised successfully when one parent is mostly or totally absent? Sure. But the best balance for a child's holistic development comes from active participation by mothers and fathers. So, new dad? Congratulations! Let's take a look at your role and tackle 25+ questions every new dad asks.
In This Article
Bonding with Your Baby: Why Dads are Just as Important as Moms
Research has shown that babies with strong bonds to their fathers are more likely to be emotionally secure, have better social connections, and perform better academically later in life (source). Babies can bond with their fathers, but fathers need to take the initiative.
This section of our new dad guide will explore father-child bonding and share research-supported tips for dads who want to connect with their babies.
What Is Paternal Bonding?
Surprisingly, paternal bonding is not well-defined in the research literature (source). Is it more emotional or physical? Does bonding start with the father before birth, or does it require the baby's response? Is it similar or different from maternal bonding?
Older kids, teenagers, and adults can define "bonding" as nurturing a relationship with someone based on shared experiences, interests, or feelings. But how do you do that with a baby?
Fathers can bond with their baby by consistently being there for their little one, caring for him, showing him how the world works, and cheering him on as he progresses through milestones.
Here is an article that lists those milestones and other crucial development areas that moms and dads are instrumental in helping their babies learn: The Ultimate Parent FAQ for the Early Stages of Child Development: 75+ Questions and Answers.
What Are the Differences Between Paternal and Maternal Bonding?
Mothers get a physiological headstart on bonding with their baby through pregnancy, birth, and nursing, but what are fathers good for to a baby (source)? One study found that many dads feel jealous of the mother-baby relationship because they don't feel like their relationship is as "natural" or "instinctive" (source).
Some research out there shows that dads who are more involved in early infant care by holding their little one skin-to-skin soon after birth, bottle feeding, and spending lots of time playing and napping with their newborn have a much more confident and sure bond with their little one than dads who don't (source, source).
But it is clear that many fathers choose to remain somewhat distant for fear of hurting their baby or messing things up somehow. Choosing to distance oneself from one's own child will likely do more harm than good, and honestly, parenting doesn't exactly come "instinctively" to mothers anyway.
Though a dad is not the one who carried and delivered his baby, he can still be there every step of the way:
His voice can be heard from the womb.
He can be there to hold the baby at birth.
He can help change the baby.
He can help feed the baby with a bottle.
He can help calm fussiness.
He can wear his baby in a carrier and talk about what he sees.
He can play with his baby.
He can speak to his baby.
He can help introduce solids to his baby.
He can read to his baby.
You get the point. There are so many opportunities for dads and babies to bond, and many of them can be just as natural as pregnancy, birth, or breastfeeding. Babies don't isolate themselves from all people, and moms are usually thankful for the break!
Can Dads Get Postpartum Depression?
Admittedly, fathers have it rough during pregnancy and after birth. Health professionals focus on the mother and baby throughout, taking no notes on how the father is feeling, coping, or keeping up.
Research and postpartum care exist for mothers struggling with postpartum depression, but it turns out that dads can have the baby blues, too.
The risk is that 7-9% of males may become depressed the first year after a new baby arrives, but if their partner has postpartum depression, that percentage shoots up to 50% (source).
So, what can dads do to beat the baby blues? Making time to bond with their baby, taking care of themselves, and seeking support from other dads and professionals are all steps for managing paternal depression.
Why Father-Child Bonding Is Important
Fathers play a crucial part in their baby's upbringing if they are willing to be involved. Moreover, they are just as incremental to a baby's exploration and discovery as a mom is, and there's very little that a dad cannot do outside of the mom's ability to carry, birth, and breastfeed the baby.
Having two parents pouring into the growth and well-being of a baby, toddler, or child makes a lot of sense from a benefit standpoint. Babies and young children require substantial time, energy, and resources to be raised well, so having an invested partner in this parenting craziness is super helpful!
Here are a few specific reasons why father-child bonding is essential:
Social and Emotional Security
If you are already a parent, you know that something as "insignificant" as a stubbed toe or a toy being snatched out of your hand can turn into a huge blowup. Little ones have a small world, so the things that seem small to us are colossal to them, and those big feelings take time.
Babies and toddlers who know they can go to either mommy or daddy for emotional support end up a lot more sure of themselves later in life, especially if their struggles, failures, and mistakes are met with grace and patience rather than frustration.
Research has also found that a father's absence or distance negatively impacts their children's social and emotional development (source).
Even more specifically, kids who grow up in a household with their own married parents tend to make better lifestyle choices, have better relationships, and have successful marriages as adults (source).
Family Stability
Fathers who are intentional about investing time in their relationships with their children and seek to bond with each of their children typically see the fruit of their investment in family stability. Even dads who work away from home yet spend quality time with each child during their time off benefit their overall family stability (source).
The stability that comes to children who grow up knowing their mom and dad love them deeply and willingly invest quality time and effort into connecting with them generally results in kids who:
live healthier lives, physically and psychologically
do better in school
tend to graduate from high school and attend college
avoid becoming entangled by drugs or alcohol
avoid abusing others or becoming sexually abused (source)
In other words, babies, toddlers, children, and teenagers who know and trust their dads are more likely to grow up well because they see a solid example of a father in front of them. The boys grow up and learn how to be solid husbands and fathers, while the girls grow up knowing how a man should treat them.
Future Wisdom
Having a bond with your father is wonderfully helpful for rounding out wisdom later in life. Teenagers, young adults, and adults who know they can go to their dad for wisdom or practical knowledge have a resource that cannot be replicated online.
Sure, you can go online to learn about anything these days, but that information is quickly becoming watered down with AI-generated noise. Some businesses and content creators invest time and money in fact-checking AI-generated content before publishing, but many don't.
How do we discern sound advice from authoritatively stated lies? People we trust. Generally speaking, hard-earned wisdom handed down from someone who has known you since birth is a gem that we don't value enough these days.
Does Bonding With Your Baby Always Lead to Rearing Successful Children?
Does being a present, intentional father, consistently seeking opportunities to bond with his kids, always result in well-rounded individuals? No, it doesn't. Other factors, voices, and temptations can lead a person astray.
But, research shows that present fathers generally rear more stable children.
Tips for Dads to Bond with Their Babies
So, where does bonding with your child start? As soon as you have a baby! Your baby can hear your voice around 27 to 29 weeks in the womb. Speak often, make funny sounds, and try moving a light around Mommy's belly for your baby to push at. It's fun!
Once your baby is born, don't be discouraged by all that you can't do. Take the initiative to be there, helping with changing, soothing fussiness, and burping your little one. You can't do everything, but you can get involved in your baby's needs. Mommy will appreciate the help, too!
Here are a few other ways dads can bond with their babies:
Skin-to-Skin Contact
Babies need to feel safe, secure, warm, and cozy. After all, it was super toasty and comfy in Mommy's belly. When Mommy is ready for a break, take your little one and place him on your bare chest.
Holding your baby skin-to-skin can help promote bonding and safe feelings, and even regulate your baby's body temperature and breathing.
Spend Time Together
Spending time with your baby is the most significant thing you can do to bond with her, and that doesn't change as the years go on. Even if you can only spare a few minutes each day, make the most of that time.
Some may think, "Why does it matter? My baby won't miss me at all for the first few months," but those who start with that attitude find it hard to shake off as time moves on. Your baby will bond with you sooner if you are consistently spending time with her from the get-go.
Besides, healthy habits are not a switch you can turn on and off at will. By spending time with your baby doing the things your baby likes or is able to do, you teach yourself to be patient while doing the things your baby can do. That will be a handy skill throughout your little one's developmental stages.
Playtime
Playtime is a fantastic way to bond with your baby. Try playing peek-a-boo, singing songs, or reading stories to your little one. Watch him explore as he grows, and help him get the most out of that exploration by cheering him on, talking him through what he's seeing, and giving him things to play with.
If you want some ideas for playtime activities you can do in the first year to promote your little one's language development, check out this article: From Babbling to Words: A Comprehensive Guide to Baby Language Development.
Babywearing
As odd as it seems, wearing your baby in a carrier or sling can help promote bonding and give you and your baby a chance to be close to each other. Your little one wants to be with you and participate, but she can't do that much early on. Babywearing fixes that!
Getting to go with you and see what you see is fascinating to your little one, especially if you let her touch some of it. My babies loved going on walks outside in the carrier because I let them touch lots of different textures and talked about everything we could see.
Take Care of Yourself
Look, taking care of a baby is exceptionally exhausting, even for dads. Doing what you can to take care of mom and baby can cause you to burn out quickly or lead to paternal depression.
Taking care of your own physical and emotional needs is crucial for your well-being and can help you be a better dad. If that means doing workouts with your baby, then do that. If it means fishing for a few hours once a week, make it happen. You've got to take care of yourself to sustainably be there for your family.
Learn more about how parental stress impacts child development in How Does Stress Impact My Baby's Development?
Seek Support
Don't be afraid to seek support from other dads or a professional if you are struggling to bond with your baby. It is a thing, and it can be dealt with. In 2021, 1 in 5 stay-at-home parents was a dad, the highest level ever recorded in American history (source).
As such, new resources and dad support groups are popping up everywhere. Get connected to stay sane! Mothers know the struggle, but they don't fully grasp it from a man's perspective. Finding a solid group of guys who know exactly what you're going through is a resource worth having.
Bonding with your baby is an incredible opportunity that only comes once per kid. As a father, you have the opportunity to be a positive role model for your child, teaching them the skills and values they need in life.
Spend time with your baby, get involved, put away your phone, and soak it all up before it's gone. Building that bond with your baby is the bedrock for a relationship that will last a lifetime.
25 Questions First-Time Dads Ask About Babies
Dads sometimes draw the short straw when it comes to advice about caring for their babies. Either they are told they can't really do anything, or the task seems so insurmountable that they might be shunted to dish duty instead of caring for the baby.
First-time dads have a lot to adjust to, but they are essential to their baby's health, well-being, and development. The first step is being willing to ask questions. Then, it's being physically, mentally, and emotionally present to help out and love on Mom and Baby.
Whether this is your biological or adopted baby, knowing what to expect and how to help is far less frustrating than being pushed to the sidelines. So, here are some questions most dads have as first-time fathers, along with answers learned by experience.
1. How Do I Know My Baby Is Getting Enough to Eat From a Bottle?
When you are feeding your baby, check how much is in the bottle before you start. You need to know where you started to determine if the baby has had enough. There are other signs to know whether a baby has gotten enough milk from a bottle.
A promising sign that the baby has had enough is if your little one refuses to eat from the bottle anymore.
What if the baby keeps chugging? Should you keep going? The answer depends on how much milk you have already given him. Too often, we dads go by the axiom "more is better," but the truth is that babies are learning, too. You must use other clues to decide if enough is enough.
Try feeling your baby's stomach by pressing gently on his abdomen. Obviously, a super-full baby will have a tight stomach, like yours after a Thanksgiving meal.
Another test you can do is to listen to how wet the burp sounds as you burp your baby (you'll want a burp cloth for that). If it sounds really wet and the baby spits up, note how much that was from when you started feeding. If your baby still reaches for the bottle or tries to latch, he wants more.
2. What Should I Do If My Baby Is Constipated?
Constipation in babies is a sensitive topic, mainly because it can make the baby uncomfortable and fussy. Generally speaking, you want to use a lot of movement to clear up the baby's digestive tract; however, if that's not working, you might consider employing juice (with your pediatrician's approval).
Is it okay to use an ounce of juice to unblock some stuck poop? Well, it depends on your baby's age, the specifics of the problem, and your doctor.
When our kids were younger, our doctor told us to avoid juice. But several baby parents around us now have been instructed by their pediatricians to use watered-down prune juice to make the no-go poop go. Check with your baby's doctor to see if juice is suitable for your little one.
Besides juice, another tried-and-true method for moving stuck poop is pedaling your baby's feet. Lay your baby on his back and pedal his feet as if he were riding a bike.
You can also bunch his feet together and gently push his toes to his nose (it's not a competition; he doesn't have to touch his nose). By shifting his legs, you are inspiring the blockage to move out.
3. What Is Colic, and How Do I Help My Baby Through It?
There's nothing that makes a father feel more frustratingly useless than a colicky baby. The secret to helping your colicky baby is to be patient. Unfortunately, colic is an endurance test for everyone involved.
Colic is when your baby cries for more than three hours per day for more than three days. Babies will cry; however, if they cry too much, you might be tempted to find a perfect solution online to help.
The fact is that 30% of all babies struggle with colic (source). While there has been a lot of research on possible solutions, including probiotics, massage therapy, and even herbal tea, there hasn't been much success in finding a method that truly helps.
Unfortunately, in this case, laughter is not the best medicine. Instead, time is. Colic tends to become significantly less common for babies older than four months. So, if your baby is still crying after six months, you should probably talk to your baby's doctor.
4. What Are the Best Ways to Handle a Fussy Baby in Public?
When your baby starts screaming, the number one way to handle the situation is with grace. Understand that most people around you have probably experienced the same fussiness before.
Give yourself, others, and your baby a significant dose of patience when handling the situation.
Part of being patient means speaking calmly to your baby and gently rocking them. It can feel a bit odd for a man to talk softly to a person who is yelling and hitting them in the face, but the reality is that your baby might not know why she is crying either.
The more calmly you talk to your baby, the more likely she is to calm down, and others will understand that you are trying your best or remove themselves from the situation.
5. What Should I Do If My Baby Has a Diaper Rash?
Chaffing is no joke, and a diaper rash is often very similar. If you want to spare yours and your baby's tears, try to get some ointment on your baby's bottom ASAP.
In the past, we used a powder to keep baby bottoms dry, but there was a problem with this—babies tend to be a tad moist. So, putting chalky powder on a baby who is becoming increasingly damp creates an even stickier situation.
A tried-and-true method for treating diaper rash is using an ointment. The idea is to reduce friction and prevent moisture loss, which is a real problem for babies who are wiped several times a day.
Pro Tip: Use unscented wipes. I know it sounds illogical, but your baby doesn't need the crap that's in the fragranced stuff (pun intended). Read up on all the bad stuff that's totally normal in households these days in: 25 Common Household Things That Are Toxic to Your Baby.
6. How Can I Help My Baby with Congestion and a Stuffy Nose?
A not-easy-to-breathe baby is not a happy baby. While you can't control the weather, the air conditioning is the next best thing you can control. Try messing with your AC to see if you can use a dry mode, or simply leave it running to dry the house a bit.
Sometimes it seems like your baby is just a fountain of joy, snot, and poop. The "easy" solution for congestion and a stuffy nose is to dry it up from the outside in. If you have a dehumidifier, now is the time to bust it out and see if that helps the congestion.
As a word of caution, though, babies like to be a little wetter than we adults do. If you dry them out too much, be prepared to deal with some dry skin. Come armed with our good friend, Aquaphor (it's magical).
In some cases, your snotty baby doesn't need drier air, but moister air. This helps with respiratory funk during dry winter months. Running a steamy shower to loosen mucus enough to suck it out with a NoseFrida, and having a humidifier going at night, will make life a bit easier — you're welcome.
Take a shortcut to learn more about all the baby illnesses and how you can be a helpful human being in the midst of yucky mayhem in 30+ Questions First-Time Parents Ask About Common Illnesses and Their Children Under 4.
7. How Do I Know If My Baby Is Experiencing Separation Anxiety?
Separation anxiety is a big word for some big feelings. While separation anxiety is a common thing for toddlers, it can happen to your baby, too. When it does strike, it often manifests as clinginess, crying, and even difficulty breathing.
If you find that your baby is particularly clingy to you or his mom, you are looking at separation anxiety. Thinking about it from the baby's perspective, it makes sense. Your baby has constantly known the smell and sound of her parents. So, don't be surprised if you find that she cries more with your family or friends around the nine-month mark.
We've written a whole article on this topic, so check it out for pointers on dealing with separation anxiety: How to Handle Separation Anxiety in Your One-Year-Old.
8. What Should I Do If My Baby Refuses to Eat?
When a baby doesn't eat, it can cause a lot of anxiety. No one wants their child to become malnourished, but sometimes, the lack of eating comes from a belly that says, "I'm full." The key is to be patient and to give multiple opportunities for food.
It's wild how babies grow. One day, they eat micro-sized portions, and the next, they claw at your fork for something more. Their appetite gets bigger, and sometimes, it gets smaller.
Even though they poop a lot, babies are actually pretty efficient in using the resources they consume. The weird part is that sometimes they grow in leaps and bounds, and other times they seem to almost stall in both growing and eating.
Just keep giving your little one chances to eat; sooner or later, your baby will be all grown up and eating you out of house and home.
If your baby displays other concerning signs of a problem (sleeping a lot, not focusing, crying more than usual, fever, cramping, not drinking, etc.) or goes hours without eating, call your pediatrician.
9. When is My Baby Ready to Swim?
Baby swimming is fascinating. There is a theory that, since babies are formed in amniotic fluid and have a breath-holding reflex when you blow in their face, they can swim just fine; however, you might want to hold off on those swim lessons for a little longer.
According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, your child's swim lessons can start as early as age 1 (source).
However, just because swim lessons can't begin until around the time your toddler is walking, it doesn't mean that you have to avoid the swimming pool entirely. You can do some heavily supervised trials during bath time; just don't rush things.
10. Can My Baby Watch TV?
Screen time has perhaps been the single greatest parenting controversy in recent times. While it can be tempting to let your little one watch something while you get chores done, it's best to keep the screen time as close to zero as possible.
Many studies suggest that screen time can have a negative effect on children's brains when they spend more than an hour watching TV (source, source). For young children, the line is drawn at no more than 30 minutes of quality programming (source).
The American Academy of Pediatrics states that children 18 months old and younger should have zero screen time (source)!
But why? Babies make millions of neural connections every second and learn lessons that we adults take for granted (like how ceiling fans are magical creatures) (source).
Frankly, if you put a phone or the TV in front of a baby, she will sit there like a teenage zombie with a phone. We don't need to start that yet; it will come in time.
Just keep little ones under 18 months busy with toys or wear them when you've got to get stuff done. Though they can technically watch 30 minutes of TV, toddlers are a lot happier in the long run when they don't sit still for hours. They need to spend all that energy you don't have!
If you want to get more arguing points against TV for free, read Toddlers and TV: How Much Screen Time Is Okay?
11. When Should I Start Giving My Baby Real Food?
Many parents can be nervous about giving their baby solid food, but as with many things, babies are pretty good at telling others they want to try eating "real food." The secret to giving solid food is to eat regularly around your baby to show them what real food looks like.
There's an obvious caveat to giving your baby solid food: Make sure it's in a smooth puree. You shouldn't give them chunks of your steak to gnaw on, however much he's asking for it!
Instead of setting a hard start date, try watching your baby at 5 to 6 months old and slowly introducing him to purees as his interest piques. Expect a messy table and stinkier diapers!
Impress your baby's mom with how much you know in this realm by reading Introducing Baby to Solid Food: When to Start, What to Try, and How to Begin. She just might keep you around!
12. How Can I Balance Work and Family Life After Becoming a Dad?
Work-life balance is perhaps the most significant stress for young families. The best way to rebalance it all when your little one arrives is to reevaluate what is truly necessary. Remember that raising kids will take more time and energy than you think.
Parents are infamously known as sticks in the mud when going out and having fun with their friends. There are new boundaries on how long you can be out, where you'll go with a baby, and how much you can do.
While your child certainly doesn't have to dictate what you and your family do every second of the day, as a dad, you must reevaluate what is crucial for you and your family (which will probably entail fewer game nights with the buds).
Get a head start in Encouraging Resilience: 7 Effective Ways to Build Resilience From the Start.
13. How Can I Support Her During the Postpartum Period?
If this is your first time being a dad or your fourth baby, the best thing you can do for your little one's mommy is to be present. Postpartum depression always looms on the horizon for new moms, especially when it comes to being separated from a lot of the fun parts of life because she has to feed the baby AGAIN.
As a new dad, the most loving thing you can do is keep your ears and eyes open for other ways to help. It also helps to keep your sleeves rolled up to change your fair share of diapers. If you want to know more about postpartum depression, read How to Bond with Your Baby When You're Struggling with Postpartum Depression.
14. What Are Some Ways I Can Bond With My Baby?
As a dad, there are many things you can't do or give your baby; however, while you can't provide milk, you can give them your time and attention.
Babies are constantly learning. Perhaps the best thing you can do for your baby is play with them. Find some blocks or stacking cups, sit down, and build something in front of your baby. Knock it down for kicks and giggles, and do it over again. Babies love the mayhem!
Thankfully, as a dad, you are more than just a playmate. Make sure you spend time holding your baby, making faces, and talking to her.
Some dads might think this is too silly, but your baby likely knows your smell and feels safe and familiar with you from that first month (which is crazy!). You should frequently show your baby your face, speak to her as early as possible, and introduce her to the world.
15. How Much Do I Actually Have to Give Up?
Being a dad is a big job, and frankly, you will probably have to give up more than you expected. However, as with all things, there is give and take.
Will you have to give up going out with your buds every Friday? Probably not. Are you going to have to give up the dignity of not slapping a person in the face after they spat on you? Very likely.
There is actually a lot of flexibility in schedules when it comes to being a new dad. You will probably have to wake up a bit earlier, and you might take more naps than you used to, but newborns are actually surprisingly transportable.
Just make sure that you double-check with the boss before you take your baby to the golf course! Here are a few things that will change: 10 Life Decisions That Surprise First-Time Parents.
16. How Long Should My Baby Cry Before I Respond?
Babies need to learn to self-soothe early on. If not, you will fight a losing battle for a long time. However, just because it's not bad for you to let your baby cry for a bit, you should still ensure that you are there and know what kind of crying is happening.
It's tough to put a hard number on how long to let your baby cry for two reasons. The first one is colic, which is largely untreatable. The second reason is that each child is different.
Generally speaking, if your baby is making a "sad cry," you can let him "cry it out," stepping in if it goes longer than a few minutes or increases drastically. But you must respond quickly if your baby is making a "scared" or "hurt" cry. In any case, your baby needs to be in a safe space.
This may seem like a hard balance full of confusion and nuances, but the reality is that as you get to know your baby, the decision to go into the room or not will get much easier.
However, parents choose different routes for a baby's crying. Some use a pacifier, while some respond to every whimper. Some rock their baby until the baby stops crying, and others respond after a set timer.
Whatever way you choose to handle crying, ensure you and your partner are on the same page and have a plan for different types of crying.
17. When Should I Start "Baby-Proofing" the House?
Knowing when to start baby-proofing can be challenging: toddlers toddling, babies rolling, or "nesting." Generally, you want to start low and go up as your baby's abilities grow.
You should know even at the beginning that you will never fully baby-proof your house. One amazing fact about babies and children is that they are great at finding new and unique ways to get themselves in trouble.
As a result, you need to keep an eye on what your baby can do so you can guard problem areas as they arise. Babies and toddlers are clever, though. They spend a ton of time watching things they can't wait to reach. Find a list of often-overlooked areas to baby-proof in The Ultimate Baby-Proofing Checklist.
18. Am I Giving My Baby Enough Attention?
The short answer is no. You are likely not giving your baby enough attention. Babies and young children do better with more attention.
The longer answer is that babies' brains are constantly learning. As a young parent, you are likely often asked to do some work. Life doesn't stop, and neither does your baby's development.
The secret to giving your baby "enough attention" is to strike a sustainable balance in your life. It is not good to spend 60 hours with your baby if you are passed out for most of those hours because you don't have any energy to spend. Quality time is more critical than quantity.
19. How Can I Get the Baby to Sleep Longer?
There are a few secrets to getting more sleep for both you and the baby. Basically, it comes down to knowing your baby's schedule and solving problems before they start.
For example, as your baby grows, you will find they need to use the bathroom less and less frequently. If you can ensure they have used the bathroom before you try to put them down for a nap, they will likely sleep longer.
What's more, many children like to be swaddled or like the temperature to be warmer than we might. Another thing is to turn on some kind of white noise in your baby's room (box fan, noise machine, soft music), but avoid being super quiet in the rest of the house, or you will always have to tiptoe.
The secret to all of these is to know what your baby likes and allocate time for that BEFORE you try putting him down for a nap.
20. Am I Good Enough?
While postpartum depression among women is a commonly researched phenomenon, the fact is that new dads also have a variant of these negative feelings that mostly revolve around the question: "Am I good enough?" The good news is that the answer is a resounding "Yes!"
Nobody is perfect, and in some ways, a new dad's mental struggles with having a new baby have fallen by the wayside.
The fact is, every new dad is going to make a lot of mistakes; however, the results of families without a father range from poorer cognitive abilities to increased risk of socio-emotional problems later in life (source).
Fathers are necessary in the family's life. It's not that moms cannot do a fantastic job on their own; it's that parents working together create a stable environment as they help each other do this kid thing well.
Men struggle in life, too, but new dads make a far more significant positive impact by being present with their families and participating.
As far as that nagging feeling of not doing enough or somehow ruining your baby goes--that's normal. Tackle that feeling specifically in Am I Ruining My Children? Honest Questions Every Parent Eventually Asks.
21. Are Mothers More Naturally Caring Than Dads?
Whether or not mothers are actually more caring depends mostly on your stance on nature vs. nurture. While one's own empathy is certainly affected by the environment one was raised in, one element is consistent across the board: the higher the empathy, the greater the responsiveness.
Children need care, and fathers often get a bad reputation for child care and empathy. However, responsiveness tends to manifest itself in terms of how one cares for the baby.
Thus, the solution to the problem is not to push the caregiving task to the mom but to increase the dad's empathy, which means getting involved in significant milestones, such as ultrasounds, births, feedings, etc.
Don't sit out because you are "not equipped" to be with children. You are equipped to provide and protect, but you cannot do so if you don't invest your time and effort in being there for the "little" things.
22. Is Black Poop From My Baby Normal?
When babies are born, their first poops are made up of black, tar-like stuff called meconium. Before you freak out, know that it is incredibly normal unless it happens to be in the wrong place.
While it certainly can be weird and slightly alarming to see tar come out of your precious newbie, there is actually no problem with it winding up in your newborn's diaper. It will pass within a few days as your baby starts nursing and adjusting his system to the outside world.
Now, I will say that cleaning it off your pants is another challenge entirely.
23. When Should I Start Reading Books To My Baby?
Some people ask, "Why bother?" when it comes to reading books to their babies, but a better attitude should be, "Why not?" As far as age goes, there is no restriction on starting to read books to your babies, even when fresh out of the womb.
The trick to reading books to your baby is to start them on board books. There's no point jumping into a chapter book if all your baby will see are pages of scribbles. Try picking up some children's classics, like Dr. Seuss's Brown Bear, Brown Bear, What Do You See? and The Very Hungry Caterpillar.
Reading to your child can be really fun. Make it a challenge to keep your baby's interest through the entire book by using silly voices, funny faces, and lots of movement. Your baby will love it! Get more ideas in Turning Books Into Adventures Your Little One Will Never Forget.
24. When Can My Baby Sleep by Herself?
Whether your baby is three months, six months, or a year old, the main principle to apply when moving the baby into another room is that you and your significant other must be on the same page.
In short, the main line of reasoning revolves around sleep quality issues. Generally speaking, fathers need to understand that the mom may sleep better when she can roll over to check on the baby, especially if the baby is not rolling over on her own yet.
However, another factor is that having the baby in the same room, in a crib or bassinet, might stress parents even more. Whatever you choose, listen to the baby's mom, even if it might mean waiting to transfer the baby to the nursery. If investing in an excellent baby monitor will ease tensions, it's worth the investment!
25. Is It Normal for Babies to Sleep in Bed with the Parents?
Statistically, it is incredibly common for a baby to fall asleep next to or on top of their mother, sometimes up to 80% of the time (source). Despite this, parents should be careful about allowing their baby to fall asleep with them.
While many people talk about the risk of rolling onto one's baby, there is another risk that should be assessed: sleep. For some parents, having a baby in bed means that every twitch and sound the baby makes is felt, often resulting in lower-quality sleep.
When a baby sleeps in the parents' bed, both the child's and the parents' health need to be considered. Make sure that you and your significant other are on the same page regarding sleeping arrangements.
In a Nutshell
If you are a new dad or about to be, congratulations! This journey is unlike anything you have done or will do in life, and it will push you to be a better man all around. Just stay patient, be physically and mentally present, and communicate. Enjoy every bit of it because it will be gone before you know it!
