Skip to content
Going from one kid to two is not as earth-shattering as transitioning from zero to one. But when you add a third, the parents are outnumbered, and the kids know it. Add another, and you're operating like a coach. Beyond that, good luck!
Having multiple young kids at home requires being a few steps ahead of the kids, keeping your cool, and balancing your children's needs with age-appropriate wants. One helpful trick is having home activities prepared ahead of time for a rainy day, canceled events, or illness.
Before we get to a list of some quality activities, we're going to look at some questions parents of multiple kids tend to ask about management, cooperation, fairness, and balancing time with each kid and how activities can help.
Managing Sibling Groups: A Different Ball Game
If you feel like managing multiple little kids is like herding cats on Mars, rest assured, lots of parents feel the same way! Having several kids is such a blessing, but it takes a different parenting skill set because the "game" changes when you become outnumbered.
Whether you feel like your children are hurting one another every few minutes or getting into things they shouldn't constantly, you probably feel like they have a plan to tag-team getting your attention until you are exhausted each day.
Doing activities together and individually can help ease the commotion, but they bring some challenges of their own, especially for young children. Here are some common questions:
How Can I Encourage My Children to Get Along and Cooperate with Each Other?
Every family does this differently, but it starts by creating reasons to cooperate in the first place. Little ones typically start this with feeding. Breastfeeding and starting solids are team sports. Praising cooperation early on will lay a foundation for working together later.
Toddlers struggle to learn that cooperating in playtime is more fun than playing alone. It is a normal part of their behavioral development but doesn't need to stay this way. Cooperation and sharing are crucial social skills!
However, teaching your little ones how to politely say, "No, thank you," and to respect one another when turned down is just as essential as teaching them to share. It's a balance!
Here are some things you can do to promote sharing and cooperation between your children:
Create Sharing Activities
Set up activities and times where your child can share and be rewarded for doing so. That could mean asking your toddler to be your little helper and pass out snacks at snack time or playing a game that requires passing items around.
Another option is to share a craft, board game, stacking challenge, or snack plate. When traveling, you could offer your children a milkshake or smoothie to share and set a timer or a song to switch the cup around.
Deal With Misbehavior Firmly and Gently
Odds are that your toddler will still throw a fit when asked to share now and then. You have to address it, or your toddler will learn that such behavior earns what he wants. Speak directly and gently to name what he did, why it's wrong, and how to do it better.
Of course, your toddler's attention span is short, so speaking in less than 30 seconds is best. Using questions is also helpful:
Was it okay to hit your sister?
What is more important: your sister or the toy?
What should you do instead?
The older the kid, the longer your instruction can be. When at home, you can deal with repeated outbursts over sharing with a timeout or remove the coveted item.
As for spanking, do it sparingly, if at all. Spanking your toddler for hitting his sister over a toy may not convey the right message. Talk it over with your partner and any other care providers to ensure you are on the same page with discipline. Consistency is key!
Reward Positive Behavior
When one or more of your children share on their own or when asked, praise them! Praise them even more if your children cooperate in play without your constant presence.
Getting to that point is difficult, but it will happen. By praising and rewarding sharing and cooperation, you recognize your kids for behaving well and reinforce that behavior (source). Without praise, your children will only hear you bring up their bad behavior, which is not encouraging in the slightest.
Model Sharing
Kids learn by "monkey see, monkey do." Being a role model of sharing and caring for others (not just your kids) is integral to your children's learning to share and cooperate well.
Examples of this may be sharing someone else's workload, inviting others for dinner at home, sharing books and games with friends, working out problems in front of your kids, and taking turns in conversation.
Demonstrating your willingness to work with others and share in your daily life will make sharing and cooperation make sense to your little ones over time.
Likewise, demonstrating how to receive a "no" or being "voted down" in the group activity choice is also a vital life lesson for your children. If you get upset, mumble under your breath, lose your temper, or play the blame game, your children will likely do the same.
Be Patient
It takes time for children to reign in their emotions and learn to handle sharing and cooperation well. After all, plenty of adults have yet to learn these lessons!
Keep your expectations of what each child should be able to do socially and emotionally realistic. Patiently teach and discipline, but know that you must be flexible in instructing and handling each child by age appropriateness and personality.
How Can I Promote Fairness Between Siblings?
This question opens a massive can of worms, but I will strive to provide simple steps here. One question you must answer before getting to this one is, "Why are my kids fighting each other?" Is it due to insecurities, competition for your attention, lack of trust, or cabin fever?
Generally speaking, seeking to create a cooperative family culture, avoiding favoritism, spending time with each kid individually, and dealing with problems as they come will help reduce sibling rivalry and promote fairness between siblings (source).
Here are some quick tips to hash this out better:
Tip |
Explanation |
Listen to each side of the story. |
When something happens, don't listen only or mostly to the one who can explain it best, but to each child involved. |
Treat each child as a unique individual. |
Having little things that you do special for each kid, inside jokes, games, or other special treatment unique to each child and their interests, helps each one feel loved for who they are. |
Make room for communication. |
Little ones may need a chart of feelings to point to until they can express their emotions, but older kids should be allowed to step back and speak.
|
Establish rules. |
Make family rules about respect (no yelling, no hitting, no stomping, no slamming doors, no throwing things, etc.) and create logical consequences for breaking them. |
Encourage bonding. |
Create activities and responsibilities for siblings to pair up and do together regularly. Maybe it's weeding the flower bed, setting the table, sweeping floors, playing a game, or doing a craft. Organize things they both enjoy. |
Take turns. |
Some days, you will have to set "fairness" to the minute by taking timed turns. Perhaps the other siblings can participate by watching and cheering on the sibling taking his turn (like playing a video game). |
Encourage individuality. |
Have something of interest that each kid does because it's their thing. It could be a craft, game, hobby, responsibility, friend, or extracurricular. Whatever it is, support each kid in what they love to do and let the family cheer them on! |
Educate. |
Older kids may become impatient with younger siblings who are not patient, cooperative, or communicative. Patiently teaching your older kids about the milestones in their younger siblings' development and helping them set more realistic expectations is helpful. Also, give them something they can do or say to handle the littles more appropriately. |
If you have a baby and a toddler instead of a larger crowd, "fair" is not a concept your little ones understand yet. Read Tips and Tricks for Parenting a Baby and Toddler Sustainably for some ideas on making the most of this time!
How Can I Balance Individual Attention with Group Activities When Interacting with My Children?
The never-ending struggle of parents with multiple children is balancing the attention each child needs with group activities and family time. It's even more difficult if you work a job and your children go to school, daycare, or another caretaker because your time together is so short!
One piece of advice given to me early on in parenthood was to take one child at a time with me for errands whenever possible and find ways to involve each kid in one of my regular responsibilities.
For example, I take a kid with me when I need groceries. This gives us time to talk, goof off, buy a favorite treat, and hang out while knocking something off the to-do list.
I also try to involve one kid at a time in cooking meals for one-on-one teaching time and to encourage creativity together in serving the rest of the family.
I'll be the first to admit that being with only one kid at a time is not always possible, but I have been able to do so with each child at least once a week. If you can muster it, it's worth it!
However, if you are with your kids most of the time, you'll have to sneak individual time in minutes here and there.
10 Fun Activities at Home for Sibling Groups
When a day drags on, everyone seems annoyed at each other, and you don't have anything planned for the rest of the day; you may have no energy to plan, put together, and host an activity. To get ahead of such times, put together activity boxes or bags beforehand.
Here are a few fun activities I've used with siblings, cousins, and friend groups to entertain everyone at home.
1. Craft Projects
Craft projects can be anything from pairing off to create handmade Christmas gifts for friends and family members, writing and decorating thank you cards, or weaving potholders. You can find a craft for almost any age group.
To keep things neat and organized, put each craft into one box, drawer, or bag. When it's craft time, your kids can choose individual, paired, or group crafts to work on and have everything they need right there.
2. Indoor Treasure Hunt
Write some clues your kids will understand the answers to (maybe even include some that only one kid can answer so the older kids don't dominate the game). Once you have all the clues, put them into a bag until you are ready for the activity.
Once you've set it up with a prize at the end, listen to your kids as they go from clue to clue. Are they working together? Are they getting impatient with one another? Encourage teamwork!
3. Family Game Night
Simple board games are fantastic for little ones because they set the game's pace. Of course, older kids will become impatient, but you can encourage them to be good teachers by tasking them with teaching the littles.
Here are a few of our favorite sibling group board game picks:
Sorry!
Trouble
Twister
Monopoly
Life
Mouse Trap
Incan Gold
UNO
WAR (card game)
Go Fish (card game)
Golf (card game)
4. Cooking or Baking Competition
A cooking or baking competition is a tasty activity! Set the standards, pick a judge, and let each team choose a recipe. Then, set a timer and let the game begin!
I suggest only letting one team go at a time, but let two go if your kitchen is big enough and the recipes don't conflict. Worried about kids cooking? Make some cookies, cakes, or cupcakes beforehand and have a decorating competition.
5. Science Experiments
Who doesn't love a classic science experiment? Doing experiments with your kids is a lot of fun. You can turn them into competitions, undertake one that requires teamwork, or simply amaze them.
Here are some fun ones to do with little kids:
Make an ant colony
Build a bottle rocket
Grow plants from seeds
Draw a floating marker designs
Make elephant toothpaste
Build DIY compass
Create a craft stick chain reaction
Build a marshmallow catapult
Make paper airplanes
Build a solar oven
Play with magnets
Do bubble experiments
Make instant ice
6. Puzzle Challenge
Set up a puzzle challenge by providing various jigsaw puzzles of different difficulty levels for siblings to work on together or compete against each other to see who can complete their puzzles first.
The older your kids get, the longer this challenge may take! If your little ones are not into puzzles, try a stacking or building game: 10 Stacking and Building Games You Can Play with Your Young Kids.
7. Build a Mega Fort
Forts are fun, even for older kids! If you've got a rainy day, or everyone is down with a cold, try building a mega fort. Utilize whatever you have around the house and make it as complex as your kids' imaginations can make it.
You can then play games, watch a movie, or eat a snack together in the fort.
8. 10-Minute Stories
Gather three to five random words from each kid and write them on separate pieces of paper. Then, divide your kids into teams and have each team draw an equal number of words.
Set a timer for 10 minutes and let each team develop a story using those words. They can even dress up and use items from around the house. Finally, put on a show!
9. Painting
Painting is a messy but entertaining activity for sibling groups. They can work on canvas or special paper to give to others, or they can paint for fun. For toddlers, consider doing finger painting!
Some older kids like doing Paint-by-Number painting, while others prefer free-form. You know your kids best!
10. Backyard Camping and Stargazing
Camping takes a lot of effort, patience, and time, but little kids are usually just as excited about camping in the backyard as they are about going somewhere else to camp. So, if you are not able to do a trip somewhere else and have a backyard, try camping and stargazing!
You can point out constellations, look for shooting stars, and use binoculars or a telescope to show your kids the moon and planets. If you don't have access to a backyard, try camping in your living room and download a stargazing APP that will show your kids where the stars, planets, and the International Space Station are.
In a Nutshell
If you have multiple kids at home, you know the struggles of parenting a group well. Hopefully, some of the activities on this list have given you ideas of ways to entertain your children while promoting cooperation, sharing, and fairness between siblings. Enjoy this season of life!
